Six Week Checkup and other Ramblings

I had my 6 week post partum checkup yesterday.  Everything is pretty much back to normal! :)  I still have a few stitches left to disolve, but I am free to be a normal person again. :)  Sex? Yes please.

However, at the checkup, he noticed a mole on my back that makes him nervous, so i have to go back in a month to get it removed.  What sucks is that its going to leave a nasty scar. :(  BUT better to get it removed now before it turns into cancer later.

I also got the go ahead to go back to work, so I start back up on Monday.  Its a week earlier than what we planned, but I figure we can save my PTO for if she's sick or if we want to take a long weekend trip, to say, Monroe, NC. :)  I'm looking forward to going back but I already miss her.  I miss her when she takes a long nap so I know once I'm at my desk i'll want nothing more than to be back at home.

Its amazing how independent she seems to be already.  Many times when she's fussy and we can't figure out why, if we just put her down on the couch or her activity mat, she calms right down.  She actually seems to prefer to be left alone!  How crazy is that?

On Saturday, Barry and I are leaving Alexsa with my Mom to go to a wedding.  Its the first time (other than a quick trip to Walmart when she was a few days old) that she'll be away from both Barry and me.  I'm excited about it!

Did I mention that I had my biopsy on my eye? Last friday they took a chunk of the black thing out of my eyelid - we should get the results back in 2 more weeks.  Hopefully its nothing!

Barry is just amazing with Alexsa.  He has much more patience than I expected and he is actually really sensitive.  Last night he got home from school and I had put her down already.  He was dissapointed because he wanted to hold her.  This from the guy that never even wants to be in the same room as an infant.  I was afraid that the baby would put alot of strain on our relationship (which, i'm sure we'll have our moments) but it seems so far that Alexsa has brought us so much closer together.  :)

My Angel is Here!

"Today Alexsa (note the new spelling!) is 1 week!  What a whirlwind of a week. "

LOL!  That's when I started this blog... 3 weeks ago!  Sorry for the delay... Today is Alexsa's 1 month birthday!

Without further ado... her birth story:

At our 40 week appointment, my Dr and I decided to induce on Monday night, Feb 8th (40w2d).  Originally our induction date was the 13th (41weeks).  When I told Barry about it, he had concerns that we were inducing too early.  We went to see Dr. Raspa Monday morning... Barry was worried that the reason we were inducing earlier was because of the doctor's schedule.  With the anxiety of wanting to get her out + the fact that my grandpa has been waiting patiently for her and was leaving on the 13th, I was READY to go on the 8th.  Of course, Dr. Raspa said he was going to be out of town the weekend of the 13th.  I was heartbroken that it wasn't going to happen that day.  So the Dr. left us to talk it out and we decided to try a 1/2 way approach - spend the night in the hospital with Cervadil to ripen my cervix.  If i didn't go into labor that night we would go home and just wait it out.

Well that night was hell.  the Cervadil was very uncomfortable and I bearly slept.  Nothing happened. About 8:30 the next morning I heard Dr. Raspa talking outside my door and felt a trickle 'down there'.  I thought , "Hm. what's that?" but didn't say anything.  He came in to check me and while down there interestingly enough said "Hm, what's that?"  They tested the fluid and sure enough my water broke on its own.  But because I wasn't in active labor, they had to give me Petocin to get me started. 

They started the Petocin at 10:30 Tuesday morning and by 3:00, I was still only 3cm dialated with contractions coming what felt like every 3-5 minutes.  They were painful and just down right horrible.  My plan was to give birth under a squat bar, which meant I would have had to go natural to be able to squat when the time came to push.  But by 4:30, the contractions were so painful and the only way I was able to deal with them was on my knees or standing over the bed, yet I was so exhausted my legs didn't want to hold me up.  I broke and asked for the epidural.  It was the most defeating feeling I had ever felt. But Dr. Solomon, the adiminster of the epidural, became my best friend.  I barely felt the procedure and was almost immediately pain feel.  It was the best decision I could've made. 

At 7:30 (i think) they checked me again and I was only 5cm or so, so most of my family went home. But when they checked 2 hrs later i was at 9-10!  So Barry, my  mom, and my sister started taking bets as to what time she would be born.  Dr. Raspa came in a short while later and joked around with us about the bet. They got everything ready and with my husband on my left and my mom on my right, I started pushing at 10:15 or so and Alexsa was born at 10:50pm on February 9th, 2010! (Apparently I am a very good pusher. :))  I never had the urge to push, but thanks to the wonders of the epidural, I was actually laughing though pushes!  The nurse on duty did most of the push coaching while Raspa sat behind her.  At one point he was playing with his phone.  Barry joked and asked if he was texting someone. He said, 'no, playing Tetris.  I'd play Bejeweled but I'd get too wrapped up.' LOL! Right when she was crowning, everyone was talking about how they could see her.  I was the only one that couldn't! So I actually asked for a mirror.  I thought i'd be grossed out and not want to see, but it was actually pretty cool.  They placed her on my chest right away.  She reminded me of an old man. (Her face was so swollen, slimy and purply.

After they cleaned her up a bit, I got to hold her longer than normal.  The reason was because as she came out, her nose caught and gave me what Dr. Raspa called a "starburst tear." UGH.  It took them over an hour to stitch me up.  I didn't really notice - i was holding my baby girl.  At one point, Barry accidentally caught a glimpse and had to get some fresh air.

We brought Alexsa Jade home about 1:00 on Thursday, Feb 11th.  We're sleep deprived and learning her personality, but doing well! 

Now that I have this out of the way I hope to post more regularly on the day to day happenings of being a new Mom.  Yay!

My Favorite Pregnancy Dream

What? 2 in one day!? I know, i'm on a roll. :)

I have to write down this dream because it's quite funny.

Sunday night I dreamt that my water broke in my sleep.  (Talk of how full moons can affect your amniotic fluid must've gotten my dream juices flowing.)  I "woke up" to a wet bed and wondered if i was just really sweaty or if my water had broken.  When I went to the bathroom, sure enough my water broke.
So I called Labor and Delivery, as instructed, to let them know.  Wouldn't you know, they outsourced to India!  A highly-accented man came on the line and didn't know what to do.  I got so frustrated with him. "You don't know anything!"  I screamed then said "Look, I'm just coming, OK? You better be ready for me!" and hung up on him.

When I actually woke up from my dream, i was quite dissapointed that the bed was dry.  Oh well. ;)

T Minus 3 days?

Well, here I am, 3 days from our due date, and I have not felt ONE contraction.  I was in such a funk for the last week because i was CERTAIN she would come early.  So on Monday I put Alexa in Uterine Time Out. I decided I wasn't going to talk too much about it and told my family not to ask me how i'm feeling anymore (as they had been like every 5 minutes).  Tuesday was a much better day and I actually felt good walking around.  Today is still in question.

If you don't follow me on facebook, at my last appointment I was 70% effaced but 0cm dialated.  My next appointment is friday and because my doctor isn't an OB, he typically doesn't check for dilation.  I'm juggling with making him check me or just letting it go. I don't want him to go through with it to just learn that nothing's changed.  My family, of course, wants to know what's up, and if I have progressed it would be a nice confidence boost. 

I find it interesting that my pregnancy is so different from my mom's and Denise's.  Both of them had early babies that were small.  At my last ultrasound, around 35 or 36 weeks, Alexa was already 6lb 6 oz and had a melon head.  Now that I'm going to full term (or beyond!) I'm nervous that I won't be able to do a natrual birth under the squat bar like i'd hoped.  Even my doctor, who had been saying that my hips could handle a big baby, was reasurring me last appointment that there are great OBs on hand in case of a C-section.  I know i shouldn't feel inadequate, but I fear I will if it doesn't go a certain way. (She's already not behaving how i'd like her too!)  I know she will come on her time.. but i feel like i'm going to be pregnant for the rest of my life! (And I'd really like a beer, please!!)

The Long Overdue Pregancy Update

I know, I know... this is way overdue.

Yes, I'm still pregnant.  Tomorrow I'll be 37 weeks.  I think she dropped yesterday - so i'm hoping she's ready to come out soon!  We had an ultrasound a 2 weeks ago and her head was measuring in the 81st percentile and she was weighing about 6 1/2 lbs. She's going to be huge, so i'm ready for her to come out!  I'm very much hoping for a Jan. 29th birthday for Alexa.  My Grandpa will be here, and its the 1 year anniversary of Grandma Hart's death. It would be an amazingly wonderful thing to replace such a hard day for all of us.

(This is at 32 1/2 weeks)

My pregnancy has been almost TOO easy.  It really makes me nervous about the birth - i'm way overdue for something funky to happen.  I had barely ANY morning sickness, I've been fairly energetic the entire time, and I've only gained about 20 pounds.  She  moves ALL the time and it's just been all around a pleasant experience.  My belly button didn't even pop! (But i have more than my share of stretch marks. :P)  My only drawback is that the Doctor found sugar in my urine about a month ago, so i've been restricted to minimal carbs.  That's been the hardest part!!  I didn't do so good during the holidays, but I still only gained 1 lb.  over christmas.  Not so bad for a preganant lady whose SUPPOSED to gain weight!

We had our showers last week - the ladies at work gave me one and my sisters and mom gave us one.  We are so lucky to have such generous friends and family!  We've gotten everything from our stroller to the crib to onsies - everything we'll need - and have barely had to spend a dime.  Our first actual purchase will be tonight, when I buy our breast pump, and even then the majority of it will be paid for by gift cards!  I don't even know how to express how blessed Alexa is - she's going to be one spoiled little girl!

Barry has gotten sooo much better. :)  He installed the car seat this morning and got it checked for correct installation.  SOOO we are ready to bring her home from the hospital!  He's going to be such a great Dad - i can't wait to see him snuggle with his baby girl.

In other news (sort of) - my sister is pregnant too!  This is her third; she has 2 beautiful boys already.  We were all hoping for a girl - but she and Jason are going to have their 3rd boy!  His big brothers are calling him "Vader".  Who knows, mabye it'll stick? (ha!)  So Alexa and Vader will only be 5 months apart!

Its been so long since i've posted anything - am I forgetting something?  If so, ask me and I'll reply in the comments!

Eye Appointment/Pediatricians

About the time I became pregnant, or shortly after, I noticed this weird bump on my lower eye lid. I showed Doctor Raspa at each appointment and he blew it off as a mole. Well, it seemed to grow, so I decided to go to my eye doctor to have him check it out. He didn't like the way it looked and referred me to an eye surgeon for a biopsy. I had my consult with Dr. Nicolitz today, who is the eye surgeon that I was referred to. After looking at the ‘lesion’, he said almost instantly that he would like a biopsy. Because it was so dark and because it’s so close to the tear duct, they want to just make sure its not melanoma. It is possible that it’s just a mole that got darker because of the pregnancy hormones, but they want to be sure. Unfortunately, they can’t do the biopsy until after Alexa is born, so after delivery we’ll have to call and make an appointment. It’s a simple procedure they do in-office, but I’ll have to be numbed up and then patched, so I’ll need a ride. (With needles that close to my eye, I might need a valium too!) If it comes back as something they want to remove completely, it will mean surgery under full anesthesia, so HOPEFLLY it won’t come to that.

In other news, we found our pediatrician(s)! Barry and I went to an open house last night at Progressive Pediatrics and absolutely fell in love with the doctors there. They are certified in Holistic Medicine, so they are focused on keeping our children well more so than just dealing with them only when they’re sick. They seemed to be on our wavelength for much of our thinking (breast feeding, vaccines, etc) so Barry and I are both super excited that we found them. One of them is a certified Lactation Consultant also, so if I have trouble she’ll be there. They emphasized that they are ultimately there for the child, but that they are our advisors, and that they leave the decisions up to the parents. They are HUGE on educating the parents, so their after hours calls are less than a typical office because the parents. I like that. Unfortunately they don’t visit St. Vincent’s (where I'll be delivering), but they were confident in the neonatologists in attendance there and they’ll be in constant communication with them. Every question we asked, they gave the answers I was hoping to hear (ex: appointments every 30 minutes, not every 15 and then a long wait). The only bummer is that they don’t have Saturday or evening hours, but they are definitely family focused, which means they feel their family is important, too (hence the hours). Yay for finding a great fit for us!

Flour Baby!

From babycenter.com:

"Is it normal to feel clumsy during pregnancy?

Yes. Many women feel ungainly when they're pregnant, particularly in their last few months."

Well, this is rediculous...

I decided to make pumpkin bread. (This recipe sans the clove.)After over an hour and a half of cutting, cooking, peeling and pureeing the pumpkin, adding the eggs, sugar, oil, and water, then maticulously measuring the flour, baking soda, cinnamon, ginger, etc I opened the cabinet above my dry mix to put my flour away when a can of Tomato Basil soup decided to escape the cabinet and PLOP! directly into my flour mix. As you can see, flour went EVERYWHERE. I really wish I had a camera on me because it was probably effing hilarious. But now, after all that measuring, i don't know how much flour and spices I just lost. So what do I do? I sweep the floor, then measure the dirty stuff (over 1/2 a cup!). Then I just remove a 1/2 a cup of the wet stuff, mix and bake! It turned out SO GOOD. :)

The loaf is still in the oven, but I had a bit left, so I made a dozen mini muffins and they turned out YUMMY!

Roller Coaster of Emotions

The weekend started with a BUST. Going to bed on Friday night, Barry and I had a conversation that made me cry, and once I started I couldn't stop. It was a serious discussion about parenting and money (fears, expectations, etc.)but it wasn't something that would typically cause me try cry uncontrollably. But there I was, gushing, with no end in sight. I went to sleep upset, something I hate doing. I woke up early to let the dogs out in OP, threw on some sweat pants and a sweatshirt, and was out and back home by 8:00am. I crawled back to bed and slept another 2 hours. I woke up in a funk. I didn't feel like going anywhere, but didn't feel like being at home either. I didn't care about what was on TV, or even what I was going to eat for breakfast, even though I could feel my stomach growling. Barry finally asked me if I was OK, I said no and started crying again. He asked if it was him. I answered "No" but I really wasn't sure. I couldn't talk about it... didn't want to talk about it. I just wanted to wallow in my funk. Then I realized that I CRAVED Barry to hug me, touch me, kiss me, whatever, but I felt like I couldn't ask him to do it; I wanted him to want to do it on his own. At one point he gave me a hug and it seemed that I clung to him like I was going to loose him or something. (I don't know if he noticed.) It was so bazaar. I looked at my bed and thought how great it would be to just lay down again, but at the same time, didn't want to waste my time there - I knew as soon as I laid down that I would be bored. I never felt this way in my entire life before - very strange.
So, about 3, I got out of my sweats and dressed for the day. We headed to Orange Park for another dog sitting session. We found a cat that was lost and that perked me up for a short while. Then we headed to a friends, I got to watch the Gators win (barely!) and I slowly felt like my old self again.
On the way back to let the dogs out for the last time that day, I was finally able to talk to Barry about my funk. I described what I felt and he said I sounded depressed. Hm. In my 29 years of life, it was the first time I had ever felt that. Depression. (And it only lasted a 1/2 day - makes me feel very lucky.) Then I was able to tell him that I realized that I just missed his touch so much. It must have been an accumulation of a few days of unconscious preggo-induced thoughts of a poor body image or something... who knows? So as soon as I was able to talk about it, the weekend went MUCH better than it started. Sunday was a great day of spending time with family and friends, and the weekend ended with a great bang (If you know what i mean! :))

Sympathy Bitchiness?

Ok, I've heard of sympathy weight, where the husband gains weight along with his pregnant wife, but is there such a thing as Sympathy Bitchiness?

Barry will blame my pregnancy on any little bickering I do (For example, when I have to put away our Calphalon scissors for the 15th effing time, or when I come home to an xBox-playing husband when the sink is FULL of dishes and the dishwasher is empty.) I don't see this as being pregnant, I see this as being a working wife wanting to come home to a decent house. Can you blame me? But anyway, I digress.

Night before last we were driving to Orange Park (a 25 minute trek across the river) to dog sit for our friends who are on vacation. We got all the way over the bridge when I realized we forgot the house key. ARGH!!! I HATE wasting the gas and time (especially since SYTYCD was on!) so I got a bit annoyed. PLUS Barry drives like an 85 year old Grandma, and most of the time I am very patient. I just happened to make a comment this time after making our U-turn. Something along the lines of "Can you at least go the speed limit on the way home?" Well, he blew up! He went off the reservation and then ANYTHING I said just made it worse. So I stopped talking. And of course that made it worse too.

Finally, after about 5 minutes he was like "aren't you going to say something?"

"I didn't know if I was allowed." (Secretly I wanted the argument to last until we got home because in his rant he said that I should just stay home and he'd go back alone, which is what I wanted in the first place!)

"Well... blah blah blah" He calmed down and apologized.

After I knew the storm had blown over I made a comment I have made in the past: "You're such a woman sometimes."

He knew exactly what I meant and didn't even argue.

23 Weeks Randomness

We had our monthly check-up on Friday. Everything is going well! Saturday marked 23 weeks. First, I keep forgetting to announce that we've finally decided on a name. So, without further ado, introducing...

Alexa Jade Swedlow

Now that that's out of the way, on to the update:

Alexa is coming along! The doctor says she's very active, and I can concur with as much as I feel her doing her gymnastics in my ute. He measured my belly and said I was running a little big - hopefully that means she'll come earlier, not that she'll be a big baby! I'm REALLY hoping she inherits my shoulders, not Barry's. Barry has amazon shoulders - OUCH!

I'm doing pretty great too. My lower back hurts quite often, and the doctor said it's because my hips are out of alignment and one leg becomes longer than the other. He gave me an exercise to do that should alleviate that, so I'll work on it. Other than my back, though, I'm feeling pretty good!

On Saturday morning I went into cleaning mode. I don't clean that often, but I had high hopes that I would get a shit-ton of stuff done. I ended up focusing on the guest bathroom. I cleaned that bathroom like it had never cleaned before. I went from dusting every little nook and organizing under the sink to actually taking a soapy rag to the base boards! It looked as good as the day we moved in, but my back paid for it later that day after being on the floor all morning. Nesting? maybe, but it seems to early for that.

Today I watched a Baby Story on TLC, and later watched bits of Knocked Up. Both times right after the delivery and the baby was placed in the mom's arms, I got teared up. I can't wait until that moment more than almost any other. I can only imagine right now the overwhelming emotion that I'll feel when I see Alexa for the first time. Just imagining it makes me sniffle!

Something I enjoy about being pregnant - That giddy in-love feeling. Its like when you first start seeing someone and you've just left a great date. You go over the moments in your mind and feel such excitement and anticipation. I feel like that when I rub my tummy. :)

Blip! Blip! Bop!

Last night while watching TV and futzing around with FarmVille on FaceBook, I felt a little Blip!Blip! in my lower abdomen. I told Barry that I thought I just felt the baby and he says, "Shouldn't you know when you feel the baby?" That made me second guess myself. (Jerk.) But this morning, while sitting here at work, I felt it again. So I went downstairs to the branch, where one of my co-workers is due in November. I explained what i felt and she said "YEP!"

WOOT!!! Yay, Baby Girl!

What I thought was interesting was that for the last 3 weeks, I was trying what everyone told me to try: To lie in bed or on the couch and just relax. So there I've been, concentrating on my baby bump hoping that I could will her to kick me. It never worked. When I did feel her, I was sitting up on the couch, kind of hunched over the laptop that sits on our coffee table. Same with today - sitting up at my desk at work. It's never really in the same exact place twice, so she's a little swimmer. OMG, I just love her so much. Its rediculous! I've never even met her yet!

Just another step that makes her and this all the more real - and just another level of excitement for me - I can't wait to meet her!!!!

Update: I'm just so excited i can't concentrate on the procedures i should be writing right now at work. I never wanted to be kicked in the gut so badly in my life!! HA! Oh, Baby Girl. You just make me want to dance a jig I'm so excited for you!

Gesundheit!

I have been sneezing every day since being pregnant. I learned through the miracle of the Internet that it's a very common 'symptom' of pregnancy called Pregnancy Rhinitis. Who-da-thunk?

Well, last night Barry and I are laying on the couch (foot-to-foot, to give you a picture ;))watching TV when I feel a sneeze coming on. I do a sit-up (to avoid the obligatory piddle otherwise), cover my mouth and sneeze. Barry goes "EWWWWW!!!" Thinking I sneezed on him, i say "SORRY... I covered my mouth!" He said, "It wasn't the sneeze - your belly was against my leg!"

Seriously??!?

He was creeped out because 'it was all hard and stuff'. What a freakin' wuss. He has yet to touch my tummy. Just wait till this kid starts kicking. He better touch my belly then!

Growth Spurt?

This morning I woke up to start my morning ritual: Turn off the alarm, roll out of bed, walk the 4-5 steps to the toilet, pee, turn on the shower, wake up gradually under a hot stream of water. This morning I woke up fairly quicker when I noticed some pink on my TP. AH! It wasn't a lot, so I didn't freak out. I pulled out my "What to Expect" Book, and didn't feel too worried when I didn't have any pain associated with it. So I took my shower as usual and called the Doctor when I got out. (Its so nice when he answers the phone.) He said just to keep an eye on it and to not have sex for a few days, then give him a call. Then he said "I'll feel better when you feel the baby move." UGH. Great. NOW I'm worrying! Sure, I've been anxious to feel her, but I saw her moving on the ultrasound just last Tuesday, and heard her heartbeat at a strong 153 on Friday, so I've been OK with it. I am a little overweight, so according to my books and websites, it's usual to not feel fetal movement right now, sometimes until 26 weeks. (I'm at 19.) But when the Doctor says he's worried, shouldn't I worry too? And now, of course, I'm wondering if every little twinge is more than it is. Meh. I'm going to do my best to not be stressed about it, since he didn't make me come in, or even tell me to lay down for the day or anything. Stress is not good for a baby. This is me, not stressed.

One thing I've felt the last 3 days now, is that even if I eat or drink the smallest meal, I feel like I just ate Thanksgiving Dinner. All of it. My stomach and sides are super tight (above my ute) and all I want to do is lay down. Saturday I mentioned to Barry that I thought she must have had a huge growth spurt or something because I felt SO tight (but again, not at my uterus, but above and around it). Its like she's growing faster than my body can compensate. To all my other mothers out there: is this normal, too? I did mention this to Dr. Raspa, too, and he didn't seem to make a deal out of it.

The Registry

On Saturday Barry spent the rainy afternoon in Babies R Us with a gun. A scanning gun that is. We picked out everything from my breast pump to our stroller system to our bedding to Every. Little. Thing. In between. By the time we got home, 4 plus hours later, saying we were exhausted was an understatement. We heated up some left overs and vegged in front of the TV. By 10:00, I woke up from the couch and migrated to the bed, not bothering to even take my hair out of my ponytail. I woke up again at about 1:15 (to pee of course) and noticed that Barry was still in the living room. I yelled to him "I can't believe you're still awake!" Not a minute later he was next to me. Apparently he fell asleep on the couch too (TV, computer and lights still on). We both woke up the next day about 9:00. I slept for 11 hours!! I haven't done that in I don't know how long. Goes to show that making decisions really is tiring. That plus growing a baby can really wear you out I guess. ;)

On a side note, a few of my friends/family had taken notice to our Registry and made some comments on our 'over-abundance' of scanned items. In my defense, Barry held the gun the whole time and he even admitted that if it said "A Must Have for Parents!" on the label, he scanned it. (Hence the baby timer thingy on the registry - what does it do that a normal timer doesn't? We have no idea.) Also, we fell prey to the New Parent Syndrome that Babies R Us love to spread by giving you a checklist that has everything under the sun on it. Luckily, Angelle set me straight on a few things, and as the weeks and months pass, I'm sure I'll be updating it with more or less of the necessities and less of the thermometers (Apparently we had at least 5 different ones scanned. OOPS.)

My Front Porch Looking In

My radio at work was tuned to the country station today. I typically listen to "lite work favorites" but for whatever reason it didn't want to come in. I love most country music and although many lesser fans think it's all shotguns and dead dogs, the majority of the songs are full of beautiful lyrics about love. Not just romantic love, but songs about family, patriotism, and the love for the finer things in life. I just finished listening to "Front Porch Looking In" by Lonestar. From Wikipedia: The song describes how the sight of his beautiful wife and two adorable children is far better than anything including his "panoramic view" of his estate or "the paintings from the air, brushed by the hand of God." He also describes that after seeing the whole world, he "can't wait to get back home to the one He made for me."

As the song ended, I realized that I'm going to be a part of this privileged club all too soon. I've watched from the outside for so long and it wasn't until just now that I realized how much I was missing. She's not even born yet and I already understand why it's worth writing a song about. I am so overwhelmed with joy that I will experience that love. Not just imagine it, but truly feel it and experience it. Its more anticipation than high school prom, that first roller coaster, or my first kiss put together, yet its so calming. I know now that I was born to be in this club. To be a parent. My wallet may not be ready, but my heart sure as hell is. Bring it on.

Sugar and Spice and Everything Nice...

...that's what little GIRLS are made of!!

That's right, She's a SHE! I can't say I was super surprised, since I've had the feeling of a girl the whole time.

A common question everyone asked me was "What do you want it to be?" I always gave the PC answer of "As long as its healthy, i don't care" and I was pretty sure I meant it. After seeing her on the ultrasound and realizing that all her parts were in the right place and growing at the right place, it really confirmed what I had been saying the whole time. I am just SOOO grateful that I could see each individual bone in her fingers, all in the right places. Everything looked perfect and she even gave us a big "thumbs up" at one point. :) I'll post the picture when I remember to scan them. :)

So, thank you to everyone for their well wishes. Now that i know she's a she, it's all the more real. Now I keep picturing the 3 year old version of her. I can see her long flowing black/brown hair and beautiful blue eyes. I'm praying for her daddy's complexion... and if she's lucky, she'll have the mailman's nose. :)

Baby Girl, I can't wait to meet you!!

Sugar 'n' Spice or Snakes 'n' Snails?

If all goes well, we will know the sex of Little Cashew today!!! Our appointment is at 2:45. It's my first major ultrasound (the only other one was a quick 'hi' as a favor from my Doctor) so i don't know quite what to expect. I'm utterly excited, though. It's 12:06 according to my clock on my computer at work. I'm doing my best to get what I can done between moments of just wishing and praying that 2:15 would come quickly so i can head out and SEE my BABY! And HOPEFULLY see his or her little wang (or lack there of).

I was reading about Old Wives Tales yesterday to figure out what they would say the sex would be. According to a quiz collaborating many famous OWTs, we've got a 74% chance of a girl. One OWT made me chuckle, though... a grandmother was talking to her pregnant granddaughter. She said if you're crabby during your pregnancy, its a girl because all girls are crabby and if you have a girl you're twice as so. If you're happy during your pregnancy, it's a boy because you have a 'peter' in you for 9 months! LOL! Gotta love spunky Grandmas. *sigh* I miss mine... I wish she could meet her newest Great Grand baby. But that's another blog...

12:14... SO CLOSE!

17 Week Randomness

Apparently, Cashew is starting to hear now. I wonder what that's like. I mean your whole world is quiet, then all of a sudden there's a whole new sense to explore. I know that it's gotta be scary. From that, I wonder what his/her first sounds were. Was it my voice? a burp? a fart? I wish it was something we could document, like their first words. Its interesting, when I first learned about him/her, I talked to my belly and I knew he/she couldn't hear anything. Now that i know that he/she can, i haven't found myself able to say something. I'm hoping its because I haven't been alone with my belly yet, and I don't want to appear crazy talking to myself.

A week from today, at 2:45, is our ultrasound appointment. HOPEFULLY, if Cashew cooperates, he or she will show us their junk and I won't have to say "he/she" anymore! I really think she's a girl, which is why he's probably a boy. If we do have a girl, the poor thing may end up just being named "Baby Girl Swedlow" because her parents couldn't decide on a name. Barry will not listen to anything except Iylana ("ill-ana"). I thought it was pretty our first night we found out we were pregnant and he's taking that as law that I liked the name, so he doesn't see why I don't want it now. I really like Ella, especially thinking that was a compromise for Iylana, but he thinks it sounds like an old person name. Grrr.... Maybe we'll just let her name herself, like Picabo Street. (OK, as i posted the link, i learned that she didn't name herself, but was named after a small Idaho town. Geez)

According to a book or 2, i should be 5-10 pounds heavier by now. Although I look like I've gained 15 pounds, I don't think i've gained more than 1 or 2 pounds, if any. Hopefully I'm not starving the kid.

Barry continues to be sweet as can be. In fact, I make more fat jokes than he does. I'm surprisingly less sensitive about it, and he's surprisingly more sensitive about it. Once he called me "Hot Mama" and i thought he said "Fat Mama". I thought it was funny, but he was appalled that I even thought he would say something like that. My hubby never ceases to surprise me. :)

14 Weeks and Counting

Friday we had our monthly check up. The VERY first thing Dr. Raspa says to me after our hello's is "You know, it's OK to color your hair - it doesn't absorb into your skin." LOL! I guess my roots are getting pretty bad. So, time for a trip to CVS now that I know it's safe.Here's some other things that went on:
~We listened to the heartbeat again. He/She is going strong and swimming like a fish! Every time he got a good read, you'd hear it quickly fade away, like Cashew was playing with us. At one point we heard a bit THUMP! and was told that it was a kick. SO COOL!
~Between my last appointment and this one, I actually lost a pound! The Dr. was OK with this and very satisfied by my weight. Because I'm a little hefty anyway, he doesn't want me to gain as much as what my book say. Now that my appetite is growing, I'm going to have to be better about keeping that in check. I want to eat every few hours!
~My next appointment is September 8th, which is our ultrasound! Hopefully we'll find out the sex. I can't wait! (Then we can go "shopping" and register!)

Yesterday as I was in the shower, I felt my baby bump! Not the fatness that has been there for a few weeks, but the actual hardish mound right above my pelvis. Its hard to see, but I can feel it. I tried to get Barry to feel it too, but he wasn't having it. He thinks its weird. Once this baby starts kicking, his ass better be willing to feel it, that's all I'm sayin'.
Today at work I want everyone to touch my belly! BUT, I know that 1 - they probably can't feel it yet (its a little bump) and 2- You can't feel it through my clothes yet. I don't think I'd be working here much longer if I kept asking people to put their hands down my pants. I'll restrain.

On another note, we got a crib and a pack n play! I am SOO grateful of my friends' generosity. My friend Jen's mom is moving and no longer needed the crib she had. I checked it out and was very happy with it. So what if it's not the exact one that I would want; a free crib is a gift from heaven. So Saturday I put it together and put it in its place in our spare bedroom er, i mean, the baby's room. (weird) When I was done, I caught Barry in the room just staring at the crib. It was kinda funny. Not even an hour after the crib was in place, we looked in and saw Harley (our Tuxedo cat) sleeping in it. It was so cute, but we don't want him to think that it's HIS place, or that the cats are even allowed inside. Any ideas on how to divert them? We thought about putting tin foil on the mattress. I did spray some vinegar water on the mattress in hopes that that will make them not want to be there. Any ideas will be greatly appreciated!
Also, a friend at work gave me her pack n play! I haven't put that together yet because I'm not sure exactly where I'm going to put it, but apparently its only a few years old and has the ability to be raised up for a changing table.

It's getting more and more real everyday. For the most part, I just think of the amazing-ness of having a baby. A person that Barry and I created. My dream of becoming a mother is coming true. A little package full of hugs and kisses. I can't wait to feel the love that is already beginning to grow for this little nut. I can't wait for the power of a mother's love when they need a booboo kissed. (I could go on and on...) But the other parts are making it REALLY real. How will we afford this? Who will take care of them after I go back to work? How will we afford this?? What if something horrible happens? What if they grow up to be a douche bag? I'm sure those 15 year old girls don't think about those things when they go on Maury Povich. I'm 29 and I never really thought about it until now. It's scary. But at the same time, I can't worry. I know that our support system is amazing and that this child will never want for anything.

An Unfinished Post... I Think?

I've been meaning to post about this, but of course, I kept forgetting.

My memory has been SUCKing since I've been pregnant. I mean, its not great usually, but this is ridiculous. My sister says that I will never be as smart as the day I found out I was pregnant, and you just get stupider with every kid. Great...

• I almost left the house without shoes
• I'm always saying "left" when I mean "right", and vice versa
• ...

OK, so i started this post with a list of damn things I forgot to do, and now I can't remember them. Lawdy!! (<--Like the black lady from Alix's Larry's flight)