Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Eye Appointment/Pediatricians

About the time I became pregnant, or shortly after, I noticed this weird bump on my lower eye lid. I showed Doctor Raspa at each appointment and he blew it off as a mole. Well, it seemed to grow, so I decided to go to my eye doctor to have him check it out. He didn't like the way it looked and referred me to an eye surgeon for a biopsy. I had my consult with Dr. Nicolitz today, who is the eye surgeon that I was referred to. After looking at the ‘lesion’, he said almost instantly that he would like a biopsy. Because it was so dark and because it’s so close to the tear duct, they want to just make sure its not melanoma. It is possible that it’s just a mole that got darker because of the pregnancy hormones, but they want to be sure. Unfortunately, they can’t do the biopsy until after Alexa is born, so after delivery we’ll have to call and make an appointment. It’s a simple procedure they do in-office, but I’ll have to be numbed up and then patched, so I’ll need a ride. (With needles that close to my eye, I might need a valium too!) If it comes back as something they want to remove completely, it will mean surgery under full anesthesia, so HOPEFLLY it won’t come to that.

In other news, we found our pediatrician(s)! Barry and I went to an open house last night at Progressive Pediatrics and absolutely fell in love with the doctors there. They are certified in Holistic Medicine, so they are focused on keeping our children well more so than just dealing with them only when they’re sick. They seemed to be on our wavelength for much of our thinking (breast feeding, vaccines, etc) so Barry and I are both super excited that we found them. One of them is a certified Lactation Consultant also, so if I have trouble she’ll be there. They emphasized that they are ultimately there for the child, but that they are our advisors, and that they leave the decisions up to the parents. They are HUGE on educating the parents, so their after hours calls are less than a typical office because the parents. I like that. Unfortunately they don’t visit St. Vincent’s (where I'll be delivering), but they were confident in the neonatologists in attendance there and they’ll be in constant communication with them. Every question we asked, they gave the answers I was hoping to hear (ex: appointments every 30 minutes, not every 15 and then a long wait). The only bummer is that they don’t have Saturday or evening hours, but they are definitely family focused, which means they feel their family is important, too (hence the hours). Yay for finding a great fit for us!

Thursday, October 22, 2009

Flour Baby!

"Is it normal to feel clumsy during pregnancy?
Yes. Many women feel ungainly when they're pregnant, particularly in their last few months."
Well, this is rediculous...

I decided to make pumpkin bread. (This recipe sans the clove.)After over an hour and a half of cutting, cooking, peeling and pureeing the pumpkin, adding the eggs, sugar, oil, and water, then maticulously measuring the flour, baking soda, cinnamon, ginger, etc I opened the cabinet above my dry mix to put my flour away when a can of Tomato Basil soup decided to escape the cabinet and PLOP! directly into my flour mix. As you can see, flour went EVERYWHERE. I really wish I had a camera on me because it was probably effing hilarious. But now, after all that measuring, i don't know how much flour and spices I just lost. So what do I do? I sweep the floor, then measure the dirty stuff (over 1/2 a cup!). Then I just remove a 1/2 a cup of the wet stuff, mix and bake! It turned out SO GOOD. :)
The loaf is still in the oven, but I had a bit left, so I made a dozen mini muffins and they turned out YUMMY!

Somer Thompson

Those who live locally here in Jax know about Somer Thompson. If you don't, please click here, then read on.

North Florida has been heartbroken for the past 72 hours, first with her disappearance, then with the discovery of Somer's body. When the story first broke, I was annoyed that they interrupted my Big Bank Theory to talk about a missing girl that never came home from school. Then when Barry said (who, at first, was also annoyed) "What if it was Alexa?" my annoyance quickly dissipated.

I admit, I kept my distance. Even though it unfolded in Orange Park, minutes from where I grew up, I felt as I did with any other story on the news. It was a "There goes another one" attitude. Then, yesterday morning, I listened to Somer's mom give a news conference on the way to work. Her voice was so... distraught. I've never heard heartbreak, real sorrow, like I did from her.

Then, last night, they found the body but couldn't confirm it was Somer. So again, I kept my distance - they don't know yet.

But listening to the news on the way to work this morning, they confirmed the body found in the landfill was indeed Somer Thompson, a 7 yr old who was at the wrong place at the wrong time. I've never let a news story affect me like this. I sobbed all the way to work. I'm realizing that, as a parent, you see the news in a completely different light. Prior to Alexa, I could sympathize and say "I can imagine what they're going through." Now I realize that I really didn't have a fucking clue. No one can tell you how scary it is going to be as a parent. No one can warn you about these things. Does it get any easier to listen to the news? Knowing that the family on the screen really isn't any different than us and, just like my family, doesn't deserve to feel that horrific grief?

Somer, I didn't know you. But I know that your mother loves you. Your brothers and sisters love you. And now, a whole town, state, and country love you. Please dance with the angels, and give my Grandma a big hug from me.

Honest Scrap Award

Alix at Casa Hice has bestowed upon me this Honest Scrap Award...

The Honest Scrap Award requires that I list 10 honest things about myself, and then I have to pass it on to 7 people with blogs that I find brilliant in content and/or design, or those who have
encouraged me. So here goes:

1. I'm pregnant with my first baby. (Duh!)

2. I'm scared to death that Alexa is going to end up completely screwed up and hate me.

3. My husband thinks I eat too much sugar and that our baby is going to be born diabetic. If he only knew how much sugar I really ate...

4. At work, I'm not as happy in my current position as I was at the branch, but I feel 'stuck' here.

5. I want sex a lot more now that I'm pregnant, but am getting it a lot less.

6. I cuss a lot in the car at other drivers. I mean... A LOT.

7. One of my favorite things to do is sit by a campfire on a chilly night and stare at the flames. Especially if its a starry night, I have hot chocolate in my hands, and I'm surrounded by friends and family.

8. I don't know how to program my MP3 player with play lists. I think if i had an iPod it'd be much easier.

9. I'm constantly worried about money. It's probably not healthy.

10.I wish I would read more. I have so many books on my plate that I started and haven't finished.

On to the 7 people. I don't have that many blogs that I follow, so you're pretty much all tagged. :)

1. Angelle @ Crabby Mama

2. Rhiannon @ DaveRhi

3. Laurie @ Welcome to the Madhouse

4. Nikki @ Tales of a Sweet Life

5. Katie @ The Palmaro Diaries

6. Joanie @ Joanie's Random Ramblings

7. Garret @ RV'ing

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Ode to 100 Grand

Oh, 100 Grand, how I love thee. Your perfect combination of crispy crunchies and chewy caramel makes me overbound with joy. I am saddened that I only have a "Fun Size" of your chewy, yummy goodness, but am grateful for your existence, however short it was. I thoroughly enjoyed created 10 bites out of the 3 that it would typically take to consume you, to only prolong your wonderment.
You are so seductive, oh 100 Grand. It is taking all of the power within me to not take the long trek across the building to find another Fun Size to partake in. I must resist.... I... can't....
mmmm........ *Crunch*

Monday, October 19, 2009

Roller Coaster of Emotions

The weekend started with a BUST. Going to bed on Friday night, Barry and I had a conversation that made me cry, and once I started I couldn't stop. It was a serious discussion about parenting and money (fears, expectations, etc.)but it wasn't something that would typically cause me try cry uncontrollably. But there I was, gushing, with no end in sight. I went to sleep upset, something I hate doing. I woke up early to let the dogs out in OP, threw on some sweat pants and a sweatshirt, and was out and back home by 8:00am. I crawled back to bed and slept another 2 hours. I woke up in a funk. I didn't feel like going anywhere, but didn't feel like being at home either. I didn't care about what was on TV, or even what I was going to eat for breakfast, even though I could feel my stomach growling. Barry finally asked me if I was OK, I said no and started crying again. He asked if it was him. I answered "No" but I really wasn't sure. I couldn't talk about it... didn't want to talk about it. I just wanted to wallow in my funk. Then I realized that I CRAVED Barry to hug me, touch me, kiss me, whatever, but I felt like I couldn't ask him to do it; I wanted him to want to do it on his own. At one point he gave me a hug and it seemed that I clung to him like I was going to loose him or something. (I don't know if he noticed.) It was so bazaar. I looked at my bed and thought how great it would be to just lay down again, but at the same time, didn't want to waste my time there - I knew as soon as I laid down that I would be bored. I never felt this way in my entire life before - very strange.
So, about 3, I got out of my sweats and dressed for the day. We headed to Orange Park for another dog sitting session. We found a cat that was lost and that perked me up for a short while. Then we headed to a friends, I got to watch the Gators win (barely!) and I slowly felt like my old self again.
On the way back to let the dogs out for the last time that day, I was finally able to talk to Barry about my funk. I described what I felt and he said I sounded depressed. Hm. In my 29 years of life, it was the first time I had ever felt that. Depression. (And it only lasted a 1/2 day - makes me feel very lucky.) Then I was able to tell him that I realized that I just missed his touch so much. It must have been an accumulation of a few days of unconscious preggo-induced thoughts of a poor body image or something... who knows? So as soon as I was able to talk about it, the weekend went MUCH better than it started. Sunday was a great day of spending time with family and friends, and the weekend ended with a great bang (If you know what i mean! :))

Friday, October 16, 2009

Sympathy Bitchiness?

Ok, I've heard of sympathy weight, where the husband gains weight along with his pregnant wife, but is there such a thing as Sympathy Bitchiness?

Barry will blame my pregnancy on any little bickering I do (For example, when I have to put away our Calphalon scissors for the 15th effing time, or when I come home to an xBox-playing husband when the sink is FULL of dishes and the dishwasher is empty.) I don't see this as being pregnant, I see this as being a working wife wanting to come home to a decent house. Can you blame me? But anyway, I digress.

Night before last we were driving to Orange Park (a 25 minute trek across the river) to dog sit for our friends who are on vacation. We got all the way over the bridge when I realized we forgot the house key. ARGH!!! I HATE wasting the gas and time (especially since SYTYCD was on!) so I got a bit annoyed. PLUS Barry drives like an 85 year old Grandma, and most of the time I am very patient. I just happened to make a comment this time after making our U-turn. Something along the lines of "Can you at least go the speed limit on the way home?" Well, he blew up! He went off the reservation and then ANYTHING I said just made it worse. So I stopped talking. And of course that made it worse too.

Finally, after about 5 minutes he was like "aren't you going to say something?"

"I didn't know if I was allowed." (Secretly I wanted the argument to last until we got home because in his rant he said that I should just stay home and he'd go back alone, which is what I wanted in the first place!)

"Well... blah blah blah" He calmed down and apologized.

After I knew the storm had blown over I made a comment I have made in the past: "You're such a woman sometimes."

He knew exactly what I meant and didn't even argue.

Monday, October 12, 2009

23 Weeks Randomness

We had our monthly check-up on Friday. Everything is going well! Saturday marked 23 weeks. First, I keep forgetting to announce that we've finally decided on a name. So, without further ado, introducing...

Alexa Jade Swedlow

Now that that's out of the way, on to the update:

Alexa is coming along! The doctor says she's very active, and I can concur with as much as I feel her doing her gymnastics in my ute. He measured my belly and said I was running a little big - hopefully that means she'll come earlier, not that she'll be a big baby! I'm REALLY hoping she inherits my shoulders, not Barry's. Barry has amazon shoulders - OUCH!

I'm doing pretty great too. My lower back hurts quite often, and the doctor said it's because my hips are out of alignment and one leg becomes longer than the other. He gave me an exercise to do that should alleviate that, so I'll work on it. Other than my back, though, I'm feeling pretty good!

On Saturday morning I went into cleaning mode. I don't clean that often, but I had high hopes that I would get a shit-ton of stuff done. I ended up focusing on the guest bathroom. I cleaned that bathroom like it had never cleaned before. I went from dusting every little nook and organizing under the sink to actually taking a soapy rag to the base boards! It looked as good as the day we moved in, but my back paid for it later that day after being on the floor all morning. Nesting? maybe, but it seems to early for that.

Today I watched a Baby Story on TLC, and later watched bits of Knocked Up. Both times right after the delivery and the baby was placed in the mom's arms, I got teared up. I can't wait until that moment more than almost any other. I can only imagine right now the overwhelming emotion that I'll feel when I see Alexa for the first time. Just imagining it makes me sniffle!

Something I enjoy about being pregnant - That giddy in-love feeling. Its like when you first start seeing someone and you've just left a great date. You go over the moments in your mind and feel such excitement and anticipation. I feel like that when I rub my tummy. :)