...every chance you get.
Got a call today from my mom to learn that my cousin's 6 year old daughter, Elizabeth, drowned in her bath last night. I don't know very much about what happened - I'm sure there's still an investigation going on - but needless to say its tragic.
I wouldn't wish what Bryan is going through on my worst enemy.
As I was giving Alexsa her bath tonight I wondered if there will be a day that I'll not think of Elizabeth when I give Alexsa a bath.
I never got to meet her. Unfortunately I haven't seen Bryan in about 15-20 years.
I ache for him. Imagining what he's feeling right now is painful enough. If the intensity is equal to imagining what its like to love your own child, then actually having a child, then I don't think I would survive.
I just want to hold my baby.
Its moments like this that I wonder if its worth having nights out w/o the baby. If something were to happen to her, will I ever forgive myself for not spending a minute more with her, instead of going out to dinner with my husband or checking my facebook?
How do I get over the guilt I feel for knowing my baby is sleeping soundly in the next room, when his will never wake up again?
I am so sorry for Bryan and his family.
The english language falls short in moments like this.
*Please forgive the lack of cohesion on this post... just wanted to get some thoughts out.