Yesterday I actually left work early. I was so excited! As I left the building at 3:00, my plan was to go to CVS to pick up some hair ties, then head to my mom's to go running around the neighborhood before dinner.
I picked out my hair ties with great success (and got a Jaguars Santa hat for 75% off - woot!). Now off to my mom's. I was feeling a little frisky because I was out of work before the sun went down so i decided to roll down the windows and fully bask in the glory that was Afternoon on a Weekday. But then of course, I needed a hair tie so the wind doesn't blow my hair in my face. Well, aren't I in luck? I just bought some! I go to rip the sticky cardboard that typically holds hair tie packages in place when-"OW!" DAMMIT! I guess there was a rise in hair tie theft because the company had put a plastic zip ties around them. And not just any zip tie that's easily torn - oh, no - its one of those beaded ones that, unless you have superpowers, have no luck of breaking with your bear hands.
So hear I am, driving down Roosevelt with the window down and hair blowing in my face, looking around the car for something sharp to cut the zip tie open when I look in the side console and find a lighter. HM. (Are you getting a visual, yet?) A stroke of genius rushes over me. I grab the lighter in my left hand, the package of hair ties in my right. With both wrists on the wheel, going a good 50-60 mph, I flick the lighter. No, I didn't forget to tell you I raised the window. It's still down. The flame goes out (drph.) I'm sure by now my tongue is sticking out or something. I flick the lighter again (window still down - don't ask why), and manage to melt the zip tie of steel just enough to pull it apart.
Grinning from ear to ear and fully dissapointed that no one was around to witness my amazing talent, I pick out a nice maroon hair tie, pull my hair back, and turn up the radio...
...just in time to sit in traffic.