I started this last tuesday. I finished it this tuesday.
Had my regular quarterly visit with Dr. Raspa today (1/13). I have officially lost 7.6 pounds since my last visit on October 14th (yay!). Not really a lot in 3 months, but that's better than nothing. I have to continue with my current regiment of 2250mg of Metformin and 1000mg of Vitamin C daily. Those, along with my multi vitamins, I take 7 pills at night before bed. SEVEN. And they aren't tiny BC pills. Oh no. These horse pills take a full glass of water to get down. Metformin's side effects include upset stomach and loose stools. I feel like the metformin isn't doing anything for me except give me a blow out every morning, but Dr. Raspa asked if i had an upset stomach and I don't. He says "It doesn't make people sick who need it." (There's some poop for you, Alix. :)) But it's not drying me up like it's supposed to either. Oh well, just do what the doctor says I guess.
All-in-all it was a good visit. Same ol'-same 'ol... but for whatever reason i was feeling off the rest of the day. I was on my period, which may have cause some of it. I didn't realize my off-ness was reflecting in my actions, but Barry called me on the way home from Tuesday dinner w/ my parents and asked if i was ok. I realized then that I wasn't. I wanted to SCREAM at him that I want a baby. But I finally admitted to him that I was ready, and that I would be ecstatic if we got pregnant. He reacted to the news much better than I expected. But something at the doctor's office made me realize that I may not be able to experience it- Motherhood. A few weeks ago Barry and I were having one of those weird hypothetical conversations about what you would do if you knew the world was going to be destroyed. The ONE thing i could think of that i want do to, more than anything, is have a baby. Be a mother. How weird is that for a world ending wish? But every time I see a baby I feel a strange combination of sadness and longing paired with love and joy that I'll never get used to.
I want to have faith that one day I will be able to say that I am a Mom. Some days it's just harder than others.