Tuesday, January 20, 2009

PCOS Update

I started this last tuesday. I finished it this tuesday.

Had my regular quarterly visit with Dr. Raspa today (1/13). I have officially lost 7.6 pounds since my last visit on October 14th (yay!). Not really a lot in 3 months, but that's better than nothing. I have to continue with my current regiment of 2250mg of Metformin and 1000mg of Vitamin C daily. Those, along with my multi vitamins, I take 7 pills at night before bed. SEVEN. And they aren't tiny BC pills. Oh no. These horse pills take a full glass of water to get down. Metformin's side effects include upset stomach and loose stools. I feel like the metformin isn't doing anything for me except give me a blow out every morning, but Dr. Raspa asked if i had an upset stomach and I don't. He says "It doesn't make people sick who need it." (There's some poop for you, Alix. :)) But it's not drying me up like it's supposed to either. Oh well, just do what the doctor says I guess.

All-in-all it was a good visit. Same ol'-same 'ol... but for whatever reason i was feeling off the rest of the day. I was on my period, which may have cause some of it. I didn't realize my off-ness was reflecting in my actions, but Barry called me on the way home from Tuesday dinner w/ my parents and asked if i was ok. I realized then that I wasn't. I wanted to SCREAM at him that I want a baby. But I finally admitted to him that I was ready, and that I would be ecstatic if we got pregnant. He reacted to the news much better than I expected. But something at the doctor's office made me realize that I may not be able to experience it- Motherhood. A few weeks ago Barry and I were having one of those weird hypothetical conversations about what you would do if you knew the world was going to be destroyed. The ONE thing i could think of that i want do to, more than anything, is have a baby. Be a mother. How weird is that for a world ending wish? But every time I see a baby I feel a strange combination of sadness and longing paired with love and joy that I'll never get used to.

I want to have faith that one day I will be able to say that I am a Mom. Some days it's just harder than others.

5 comments:

Angelle said...

Oh sweetie, I love you so much! I understand your longing to me a mom. I will cross all fingers and toes that it happens for you SOON. 3 more days!

Rhiannon said...

I know exactly what it's like to have a difficult time conceiving. It's not cool. I hope it happens soon for you!

Alix said...

Oh Mandi!

(Why do I always hear Barry Mannilow in the background when I think of you?)

I've been searching your blog for a definition of PCOS, but I can't find one. I'll just Google it.

But I'm so sorry for all your trouble. Gosh, for those of us got pregnant every time we blinked, I can only imagine the difficulty you are going through. My daughter in law can't get pregnant, and won't get pregnant unless she leaves the marriage. Problem is on the husband side, which I'm thinking is even MORE frustrating because someone else is the obstacle. On the bright side you have the green light to go at it like rabbits. And really? That's the best part!

Hope you're feeling better. And as usual, thank you so much for visiting me at Casa Hice and for your awesome comments. I don't know why but getting comments makes me feel important. LOL>

DomesticDivasFancy said...

I know how you feel...I am glad I found your blog. I too have PCOS and I my hubby and I have been trying to conceive for 4 years. Now with him being laid off from his wonderful job...we have no insurance, so getting the meds and the treatment are not in my cards...God has a reason for everything...Just have faith that he will do what is right for you!

Erin and Rick said...

I love you lots!!! I may not have answers or solutions, but know that I do know how that longing in my heart feels. Keep praying* Who knows... maybe in a year or two we will both be getting some good news.